Hope you all had a love filled valentines day. Everyone always says valentines day should be every day when you are with that special person & yes in an ideal world it should be, but lets face it, in reality we have things to do, money to make etc so although I am aware that its just another money making tool, I think its nice to dedicate a day to showing you’re loved ones appreciation. That being said this can be done on any day. Anyway, I digress.
I came here to write about love and how strangely beautiful yet scary and painful it can be. Its crazy that no matter how many times our hearts are broken, and as much as we act like we have given up on love, we always give love another chance.
Our generation is very ego driven, men ain’t got time for a woman cos they’re too busy gettin’ money, and girls want to act like cold hearted bxtches cos their hearts have been broken too many times. Trust me I have been through that phase myself, but its’ a lie. The truth is that love makes the world go round, and Im not saying that finding a man is the be all and end all, not at all. It could be love within yourself, love for you’re family, love in you’re friendship groups, etc.
I used to think that love came in the form of butterflies, pain, lust, but over the last few years Ive realised that for me, love is peace. When I feel at peace with someone, when I can sit in silence with him and its not awkward and we don’t have to fill the space with empty conversation. When Im in his presence and I feel at home. When I can be myself knowing I wont be judged. This for me is love. Love isn’t desperate, it doesn’t demand, its not lead by the ego, its lead by the soul. You’re soul knows when the love is real and when its just surface based. One thing I do when Im getting to know someone is I mentally strip them of their physical appearance, their labels, their career, their possessions, and I think to myself if we were nothing but two souls, would I still like you? Usually this reveals the answer.
I feel like most of the time love comes our way when we least expect it, at the randomest (probably not a word) most questionable times, but who are we to question Gods timing. One thing I’ve noted over the years is that love very RARELY comes when we are looking for it, and if it does I think its usually not love. When we seek love its easy to mistake anything for love because we want it so bad we make ourselves believe its love even if it isn’t. I find that for me, and most of those around me, love comes when we are not focused on finding it. This might be because desperation isn’t exactly attractive.
Trust is probably my biggest setback when it comes to relationships and probably the most important factor in all relationships. Ive realised now that love and trust go hand in hand.
SIDENOTE: I hope im not coming off preachery cos I cant stand a preacher, and I defo am not trying to be one, Im just talking about my own personal experience which is neither right or wrong.
As I was saying though, trust is so important and to invest so much time into something and have ur trust broken can really mess u up, but to let it fuck up anything good thats coming ur way is even worse. Love is truly a blessing and if not then its a lesson, even a bad relationship teaches us what we don’t want from the next one. We have to learn to appreciate genuine love because its so so rare. That solid strong foundation that some of our grandparents had is almost unheard of these days. I really admire couples that have been together for ever. Not the ones that are unhappy in their relationships and too scared to leave, but the ones that work on it every single day, the ones that sit down together and discuss their problems and how they can solve them. That is goals. Not matching loubs.
So that being said if you have found love, don’t take it for granted. Love is dope. Don’t let our fucked up generation tell you otherwise.