I was having a conversation with someone a few days ago about how they felt that no matter how successful they became or what they achieved or who they’re with, they never feel entirely happy. It made me question happiness and how we acquire it and maintain it.
I go through phases as everyone probably does, so I’m writing these steps as a reminder to myself on how to be happy and stay happy (not all the time because that’s not realistic) but as much as possible.
Don’t attach your happiness to anything/one.
You cant attach happiness to anything or anyone, because once its taken away the happiness goes too. Happiness comes from within so rather than searching for ‘things’ that make us happy we need to create it ourselves.
Have no expectations.
This is one MAJOR one for me. You cant expect anything from anyone, apart from yourself. Set expectations for yourself but that’s it. The less you expect from people the less you will be disappointed if your expectations are not met. I used to expect everybody to do for me as I do for them, but that’s not real life.
Do not overthink.
I overthink so much I even over think my overthinking. Overthinking isn’t healthy, one worry leads to another and all of a sudden my life is failing and I’m in a ditch and cant get out. UN-HEALTHY. Now when I catch myself overthinking I try to redirect my thoughts…
…Continuing from the overthinking, When I redirect my thoughts I try to focus on what I am grateful for. I noticed that I feel so much happier when I think about how blessed I am. There are some good guided meditations on youtube to listen to before bed. A gratitude journal is also a good idea to keep, that way when your sad you can read through all your blessings. When I am in the bath I often just zone out and give thanks. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is say thank you, it’s second nature now before I grab my phone I’m like damn, you have another day of life say thank you. And my day feels better straight away. Show gratitude to the people that love you as well. It makes you feel good and lets them know they are appreciated too.
Do NOT compare your life to anyone else’s
Comparison is the greatest thief of joy. I truly believe this. Everyone is on their own personal journey and although its hard because everyone online looks like they have the best relationship and best life (lol), you don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. Everybody’s life is so public and accessible so its difficult not to look at people and think, why am I not doing as good as them, I catch myself doing it all the time. Its stupid. You are exactly where you are supposed to be in this moment in time, you cant question Gods timing. Take where you are in life right now and make the most of it. Watching what others are doing only distracts you from your own blessings.
Keep your happiness to yourself.
Its hard. I know it is. We want to share our greatest moments with the world. Although I still think that there is nothing wrong with sharing certain things on social media, I think some things should be kept private. Too many people want to see you fail, your relationship fail, etc. For me I think keeping an element of mystery keeps me sane. Not everyone needs to know everything, not everyone is going to be happy you. Keep your blessings close to your heart and hold them tight.
Enjoy the journey.
Lastly, enjoy the journey. Sometimes we become so obsessed with the goal that we forget to enjoy where we are right now. We will never be this young again, we will never live this same moment again. I believe that the journey IS the destination. Often I think if I had this or if I was doing this or if I lived here, Id be happier, but no. The journey, the ups and down, the laughter and the tears, the trials and tribulations, the growth, the lessons, the mistakes. This is what makes life great, there will always be a new destination so your happiness cant depend on that. The journey is what counts.